Why is there so much mental pressure in one’s late twenties regarding career, marriage, and children?

As people approach the age of thirty, many begin to experience an invisible form of mental pressure. Major life decisions—such as establishing a career, getting married, ensuring financial security, or having children—often converge during this period. Consequently, the final years of one’s twenties can become a time marked by anxiety and uncertainty for many.

According to experts, a significant source of this pressure stems from societal expectations and the tendency to compare one’s own life with the lives of others. The notion that everything must be achieved by a certain age often leaves many young adults feeling mentally unsettled.

Psychologist Divyaji (from Aster Whiteland) and Dr. Keya Parashar Jain (a specialist at Nova IVF Fertility) recently shared their observations on this subject in an interview.

Is the pressure fueled by witnessing the success of others?

In their late twenties, many people observe their peers getting married, securing good jobs, buying homes, or starting families. Seeing this can lead to feelings of frustration regarding one’s own current situation.

Psychologist Divyaji notes that people often compare their own personal uncertainties with the visible achievements of others, failing to consider the struggles, individual circumstances, or the specific choices that lie behind those successes.

Beyond the fear of falling behind, the anxiety at this age is also compounded by the dread of making the wrong decisions or "wasting" time. Many become doubtful about their chosen career paths, while others, under social pressure, may contemplate marriage or entering into relationships before they feel truly ready.

Why is there such anxiety surrounding the timing of marriage and having children?

For many women, balancing career development with plans for marriage and motherhood creates an additional layer of pressure. When societal expectations intersect with concerns regarding reproductive health, making these decisions becomes even more challenging.

Reproductive specialist Dr. Keya Parashar Jain explains that as a woman ages, both the quantity and quality of her eggs typically decline. This change becomes increasingly apparent throughout one’s thirties, and the rate of decline may accelerate after the mid-thirties. However, this does not mean that everyone must become a mother by a certain age, nor does it imply that pregnancy is impossible after the age of 35. Fertility varies from person to person.

Those who wish to have children in the future but are not currently prepared may consider options such as egg freezing, in consultation with a medical professional. It should be noted, however, that this procedure does not guarantee future childbirth; its success depends on various factors, including age at the time of egg retrieval.

How can one reduce stress?

Experts advise that before making significant life decisions, it is essential to distinguish between one’s own personal desires and societal expectations.

Some may choose to prioritize their careers, while others might prefer to start a family. Some may decide to marry or have children only after achieving financial independence. There is no rule stating that everyone’s life must progress at the same pace.

According to psychologist Divyaji, when making decisions, one should prioritize their own values ​​and mental readiness rather than fearing criticism from others.

To manage stress, it can be helpful to stop comparing oneself to others, set realistic goals, and have open discussions with family members about one’s own situation. It is also important to focus on one issue at a time, rather than trying to make all decisions simultaneously.

However, if anxiety persists over a long period and negatively impacts one’s sleep, work, relationships, or ability to make daily decisions, it is advisable to seek support from a psychologist or mental health professional.

The core message from experts is that one’s late twenties do not represent the final opportunity to achieve all of one’s goals. Instead, this period serves as a crucial phase for self-discovery, setting priorities, and preparing for the future.